I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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