I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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