dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
