I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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