Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
