I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize