A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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