I am in a vortex of obligation.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
