Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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