so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
