addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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