I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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