I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
