ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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