is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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