Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My penis needs a shock collar
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
