he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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