Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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