my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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