idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
