drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
