This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
