he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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