if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
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