i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
tell me about the fingering
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