i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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