3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
