I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
