words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize