I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
