Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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