My brain says no but my pants say off.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
