But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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