make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
