no. you can't hotbox the world.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
