cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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