We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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