He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
