He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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