Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
