I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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