Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
