You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
