Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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