shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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