just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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