Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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