I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize