tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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