Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
