but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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