when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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