Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
