Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
