just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
