The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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