I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
