So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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