Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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