yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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