so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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