I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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